A scene from on of my all time favorite films. “If….” directed by Lindsay Anderson staring Malcolm McDowell. When I was working on the set of Basquiat, I was talking with Gary Oldman. I mentioned this film and he told me that it was this film and McDowells performance that inspired him with the desire to act.

This scene, an exploration of sexual attraction through the avant-garde and girl that seems as though she was taken right out of a Fernand Léger painting

Listening to the commentary by Fab Five Freddy, a producer and actor in the film, he mention an old saying about Alphabet city in the 80’s

On Avenue A, your A.O.K.
On Avenue B, be careful.
On Avenue C, your crazy.
On Avenue D, your Dead!

This is far from true these days, even though one should always keep aware in the hood. The Alphabet has changed and people don’t refer to it as so. It’s now just referred to as the east village.

My recent pursuit and attempt to enter the world of professional photography has come to an end. This does not mean that I will put down the camera. It only means that I refuse to continue to endeavor to find a niche in an industry that is over saturated and far too competitive. But even further, I do not have much respect for the medium as an art form. I’ve always thought that photography is for those that can’t draw or don’t want to spend the time to learn.

The only kind of photography that I truly believe is great is journalistic photography. This is because the one thing that photographs do best is capture a moment of a real time and event. The photographers that I’ve had the greatest respect for are the war photographers. And of the war photographers, my favorite is Larry Burrows. When Larry took a picture in the middle of a firefight, he did it with a fully manual, manual focus, range finder Leica.

These days taking a good picture is at it’s easiest. This maybe why there are about 60,000 professional photographers in NYC. My attempt to make it a profession is derivative in my endeavor to become a director. I’ve tried many different things in this pursuit and you can see the results in the galleries of studioDK.org. However, I have never been offered the opportunity. But, many photographers have.

From what I’ve been told, is that I’m a good editor, I’m a good motion graphics artist, I’m a good storyboard artist and even shooter, but no one wants to make the jump and suggest that I’d be a good director. I’ve also been told that I’m a good photographer. The funny thing is, is that with my photography, the fashion people say my reportage is good and the journalists say my fashion is good. This is very frustrating cause, I seem to get all this positive feedback which I believe is genuine, However, no one ever wants to fully acknowledge my skills. It is out of my control.

With all my skills, I have to focus on what is in my control. And because of this I’ve decided that I’ve achieved creating a portfolio of photography that shows that not only do I have an eye for the highest caliber of aesthetic, but also I can carry a story. However, for me to continue to shoot a commercial style of work, I feel I need some financial maneuverability that the industry does not want to give me. And I just don’t have the energy to pursue it, by trying to convince someone who is blind to see all the skills I bring to the table. Given the opportunity I could easily work at the level of todays top photographers. Given the opportunity I’m sure others could as well.

Working as a photographer has more to do with politics than skill. In fact I believe it now takes no skill to shoot a nice picture. Just an aesthetic for it. Point, shoot, look at the screen and if it’s not right, adjust and push the button again.

I am much greater than a photographer….

Title: The Lesson
Duration: 00:05:25

This was my first semester film from my first year in film school at S.V.A. I shot this in the fall of 1991 with a Bolex 16-mm movie camera with 300 ft. of B&W reversal film and an Arri lighting kit in Mammoth Billiards on 26th street NYC. The pool shark is played by my father and the kid was my classmate Neil Collogan. I had just recently got a telecine transfer and had not viewed it in about 14 years since I had lost a VHS tape that was of poor quality to begin with. Also I put it to the track “What is Soul” by Funkidelic. It is the same track that I played from a CD as I presented it to my class.

The titles and credits I recently added. I cleaned up a couple of the edits but left most of it untouched to preserve the RAW film school quality. Working with reversal, one has to remember that it’s the only print that you have that is being spliced up. And all is cut with a hand operated reel to reel and a plug in viewer to light up and magnify the film so you can see it. Avids and nonlinear digital off line editing were only available in the state of the art professional arena.

In classic DK style I did not get a grade for it cause I refused to follow the assignment and cut it in 10 edits which did have the coverage for. My money, my cut is the way I thought. I was allowed to present it to the class and although I did not get the grade the professor shook his head and said, “wow great story!”

These pictures I took of The Golden Gate Bridge in October of 2004. Upon seeing this bridge for the first time, I was in awe of its majestic splendor. It is absolutely the most beautiful man made modern monumental structure that I’ve ever been in the presence of.
And I remember at the time in rhetoric I asked, “I wonder if a lot of people commit suicide by jumping off this Bridge?” Niels, a friend who resides in San Francisco replied, “Oh yeah. A lot!” He then added some statistic about the bridge being the #1 suicide landmark. Well, little did we know as we were standing there, a documentary film about jumpers, was being shot by Eric Steel, called “The Bridge.”

That year 24 people had jumped to their deaths. The film captures this haunting phenomenon as you watch people who look over the railings. “Will they do it?” you keep asking your self as the camera follows isolated people looking out yonder to the depths bellow. It’s not surprising to me that many people in the lowest depths of their emotional pain with access to the bridge would choose this as the place to literally make their step to the other side we call death. There is something mystical about this bridge. It’s not hard to see that it could be seen, as a portal to that unknown place they believe will give them relief. The way that the fog roles over this bridge often allowing dispersed pools of sun light that illuminates its golden orange finish and it’s setting between a cavern-ness landscape parting the Pacific ocean from the bay, one can’t help but feel that this is a place of Devine presence.

With interviews of the loved ones, this film titled “The Bridge” is ultimately about suicide. Suicide is not that uncommon of a problem and although I have not had any of my immediate friends or family that has chosen this path, I can name four friends that has known some one who has. The most recent incident happened a month ago and I can assure that leaves a devastating wake. And viewing the testaments in this film one might be able to learn of some of the signs a person gives who is seriously contemplating it. We all should remember that suicide is the result when a person’s emotional pain exceeds their ability to cope with that pain and they loose hope for a remedy in life. If you know any one who might be thinking about it refer them to this site:

http://www.metanoia.org/suicide/

Cause last night, through out viewing this film, I couldn’t help but think, “Don’t do it!”

In the mid 90’s I had an idea for a screenplay called “Pool Hall,” but I didn’t have the courage to write it. Growing up through my experience in school, it was brought to my parent’s attention that my reading and writing skills were very poor. I was taken aside, which felt more like being singled out, and put through process of having to meet with all sorts of professionals and take a few diagnostic tests. One test was an IQ test that included a Rorschach inkblot test. And if you have ever taken one of those, you would understand the kind of alienating experience that it could be. I thought I was retarded at the end of the whole experience. And I was left with profound feelings of inadequacy about my writing skills that haunted me through the rest of my checkered educational career. So now you could imagine the confounding barrier that I had to over come in order to succeed in actually completing a feature length screen play. But I’m not stupid and was not going to do it alone. So I enlisted the help of a person that I met on a job that quickly became a friend and his name is Drew.

Now Drew being about 10 years older and having been a post grad American lit student brought many things to the table. Beyond the discipline I had to muster up to keep up with him, he taught me many things about writing. But even more importantly, over the years he has helped me dispel the myth of my in inadequate literary skills. He’d often say, “Dylan, I don’t know why you think you can’t write. It takes just takes practice.” Or “Dylan you often like to claim that you can’t verbally express your self but you tend to be able to articulate your thoughts better than most people I speak to.” Drew over the years has become somewhat of a mentor when it comes to my issues with reading and writing. He loves books and is always willing to discuss the complexities of characters and their relation to a writer’s interest in creating them. He also will often encourage me, expressing to me how I might find the value and satisfaction in my own development in any endeavor of writing. For example, this blog.

It has been 10 years past since the completion of “Pool Hall.” And still I’m somewhat haunted by this demon that holds me back from writing the scripts that I’d want to make into films. However, recently I’ve just started and am just about completed the first draft of a short film I want to make. And I have to write what a wonderful experience that it has been. What I’ve found that I really like about writing is that it provides an alternative remedy to being trapped inside my head with thoughts and feelings of fear, failure, boredom and, loneliness. I find my self envisioning a whole world filled with characters, plots and images that are so powerful that I can be sitting with my eyes opened but lost in this dream. And the first step to share this dream is to write it. For me it seems a perfect. And now I must return to finish it.

When I’m not working I have to find ways to stay motivated and crank those personal gears that allow me to build momentum. If a small and short job comes along such as storyboarding a commercial I can usually sustain my initial momentum after the job. However, at the beginning of this summer I was presented with a great opportunity to run a few projects in which I art directed, consulted and did the motion graphic work for the titles of three movies. One was a small Russian film, the other two where American films. “Girl in the Park” an independent film staring Sigourney Weaver and Kate Bosworth and “Awake” which is a larger budget movie staring Hayden Christensen, Jessica Alba and Terrence Howard. I am currently doing another movie called “Tenderness” which stars Russell Crowe.

All this work hit suddenly and because it was new territory for me it was a lot of pressure. I had to acclimate my self to a new workflow and process that I’m not so accustom to. And most all the responsibility fell on me to be able to produce. It’s been a good and challenging experience and will lead to new things and I’m very excited for that. But this work is on a contract bases and when it rains it pours. But one can also find one’s self in a drought.

As of now things have really slowed down and I feel as though I have lost my momentum. I’m lost as what to do with my self and not sure where I should put this energy. And what I tend to do is let this energy knot up inside. This produces a depressed and sad feeling inside of me. Every thing starts to become an effort and my attitude starts to become despondent and my moral low. This is how I feel. However, I know and have faith in my resilience and I have to keep an objective perspective that this feeling will pass and I have tools to help. And the tool that kept coming to mind for me is this blog.

For the last two weeks I have thought about my blog. I’ve thought how I need to post another and that for so long I haven’t. I felt that I had to put up a picture or do something that seems more gallant than just words on page. I have a natural tendency to want to build things to grand and monumental proportions. Instead I end up with self-pity that I cannot live up to my own expectations. It’s horrible. But I realized that the show must go on! And words are just as important. This blog is important to me. It is a work in progress and will never be finished. So for all that may be visiting words are what I have to offer now.

I’m very happy. A box set of Alejandro Jodorowsky’s films have just been released on DVD. It’s been a long time over do. The titles include, “Fando Y Lis”, “El Topo”, and my favorate “The Holy Mountain”

“The Holy Mountain” is a special gem. This film is a visual trip into the fools journey. A man’s internal struggle between his egotistical self, seduced by intoxicants of the flesh and his desire to obtain a union between his metaphysical self, his body and his environment.

The first 35 minutes of this film is with out diologue. Until we hear Jodorowsky him self as the alchemist deliver it, “Do you want gold?”

Seductive and hypnotic you will be transformed!