It’s really difficult for me to be myself. “Who am I?” is an unanswered question that is always distracting me from finding out. In fact the fear of finding out the kind of person that I am is so great that I can never truly act myself because the idea that others wouldn’t get offended seems to me an improbability. However, no matter what, I still seem to offend people and alienate them through my internal struggle between the disguising of myself of the things I fear will offend them and yet still presenting my self honestly. And when I ask myself, “Who am I?” I think that I am someone I don’t like. However, this opinion of myself is only a perception of myself and not who I really am. Although I think that ones desire to not offend, is something to appreciate. Ones total honesty is negative and unappealing. However, I’m still stuck with the question, only now it has become larger and more difficult to discern. “Am I a person that can truly act as himself not knowing who he is?”
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Archive for May, 2008
A scene from on of my all time favorite films. “If….” directed by Lindsay Anderson staring Malcolm McDowell. When I was working on the set of Basquiat, I was talking with Gary Oldman. I mentioned this film and he told me that it was this film and McDowells performance that inspired him with the desire to act.
This scene, an exploration of sexual attraction through the avant-garde and girl that seems as though she was taken right out of a Fernand Léger painting

